Well, last night was just scary. After we were married, it would be a dream come true, and we would just revel in the feelings we lovingly created in each other. But, trying to wait, trying to avoid having the ‘s’ word until we should… And I honestly have no idea why the spectre of showering together would do that… We didn’t run into the same thing again until after we were married, and then we just enjoyed it.

Well, we didn’t know how long we would end up waiting to get married. Well I didn’t know anyway, and why would Bill keep that from me? Still, it was clear we had to be a little more careful with the feelings we surfaced in each other. And our deep devotion just made that more difficult; it gave even the slightest touch amazingly more significance. I think we started the next day purposing to find a happy medium, a managable level of still being able to enjoy just a little of what we could one day savor fully…

When we woke up the next morning, Bill asked quietly if we could try a little rocking chair time. He said he really missed that last night. I smiled; I agreed with him. Neither of us had any clothes on, and Bill got up, then lovingly helped me up, and we were quickly in our rocking chair… Bill had his feet on the bed, and I curled up on top of him. Our bodies responded, but nowhere near like last night. We both tried to relax and just enjoy the closeness. We did, and it was amazing. We spent over an hour like that, feeling the closeness of our mutual devotion. We only got up because it was time to get ready to go to the Diner. Bill was still adamant about no closed doors, and I agreed. We collected our clothing for the day, and took turns dressing in the bedroom. It was such a simple delight; we both enjoyed it. We were still a little early, even for the slow walk we normally take. Bill suggested the swing. I ended up in Bill’s lap with my arms around his neck, and his arms around my side. We hugged tightly and kissed sparingly.

It was mostly quiet, but at one point I said what I felt. “Bill, last night was really scary…”

Bill smiled, then kissed my lips. “Only for a short period of time. Then it will be an amazing opportunity.” My Bill said this, then he smiled. I shivered, then hugged him tightly. He was right, of course. Soon enough, that would… I shivered again. Maybe thinking about that should wait, too. Swinging together though, I also realized that we already had a number of amazing places that we could just be together and enjoy each other. I really appreciated Edna’s swing, with my man next to me, that is.

Less than an hour later, we were heading into the Diner. Of course, it was another hot day. Bill got going with the windows, shades and fans right away, and quickly had the inside of the Diner cooled off. I don’t understand how he does that. But I am so thankful that is his job now. He does it so much better.

Many weekdays are usually fairly calm. I stayed mostly relaxed again that day, no small thanks to my Bill. I couldn’t tell anyone else, but I think I was still edgy about last night, and so about tonight. Bill went out of his way to hug me, to kiss me when nobody was looking. He helped me calm down a lot. And at one point, he pulled me aside, kissed me, and whispered “Swing time tonight?” I just melted, and relaxed some more. My man understands me so well.

Bill helped me through the lunch rush without me even breaking a sweat. I smiled, then thought to myself “If I stay dry, maybe I won’t need a shower, and then…” I had to stop that thought. That had proved to be dangerous territory, until we were married, that is. I realized though, that Bill’s longer view was allowing me, allowing us to tip-toe past last night, and forward to more amazing time together. I relaxed some more.

In the middle of the afternoon, I had just served a table, and noticed Bill talking to Delores. Well, I wasn’t about to pass that up! I walked up to my man “Hi beautiful” he said proudly, then kissed my neck. I just melted.

And Bill didn’t even wait for me to ask. “Delores is going to get us some new matching t-shirts. I was hoping for a single pocket with ‘the Diner’ in white, and maybe a sailboat above it.” Well, we had not talked about that, my 2 days at Delores’ for christmas. How could be know? My Bill is full of surprises.

I just smiled; that sounded amazing. Delores spoke up right away, and cautioned Bill “I said I would see what I could do. Don’t go making promises for me!” We all laughed. Shortly afterwards, without even getting up, Delores sighed. “Maude, you are so very beautiful…”

I quickly turned, and wrapped my arms around Bill’s neck. “I think I can thank this amazing man for that.” Then I kissed him. I think we both blushed. But it was true, what I said.

Later that afternoon, I also noticed Bill talking to the Sheriff; he came in for either cold soda or hot coffee (depending on the weather) a few times a week, and at random times. I never minded them talking. Especially after the first few days, and Bill literally bursting into my life, I wanted everyone to know how loving and caring Bill was to me. They were discussing something together; that was fine, and I didn’t even feel compelled to bust in on that. The dinner rush was picking up anyway. I was pretty busy. I even covered for my man until their visit was over and the Sheriff left.

Bill finished cleaning most of the Diner by 9:30 maybe, and it was almost dark. Flashlight in Bill’s hand, and his other arm around my waist, we walked slowly home that night. My man even stopped a few times, hugged me tight, then kissed me, well a little more than briefly. “Maude, I love you so much.” I just sighed when he said that…

Starting down our long driveway, I asked Bill quietly “What should… What do you want us to do tonight?”

Bill must have realized right away I was still a little concerned about last night. I think he can increasingly feel things like that, I don’t know. Bill stopped, and hugged me close again. Then my man said… very… simply… “Maude, if last night repeats itself, I’m giving you an early wedding present.”

I laughed briefly, then was quickly crying. What Bill said, so put me at ease… And it was also clear that, if last night did repeat itself, my Bill would just take care of me as if we already were married… Well, we had both already given each other that committment. He would give me what I needed, still fully intending to completely make me his own some day, soon, we hoped. We made it to the swing on the porch, and Bill pulled me back into his lap and I cried for a long time on my man’s shoulders. It was just hard to imagine someone caring so completely, so amazingly, so selflessly for me. I think the simple words Bill said just overwhelmed me. Bill cried softly with me. I no longer worried about what would happen tonight, or any other night before that amazing day. Bill would take care of me. He would give me what I needed if anything like last night happened again. Well, I also think Bill, hearing himself say that, it helped Bill relax too. We had already given our lives to each other. And we both knew that, if last night repeated itself, our course of action was already defined. We both knew that… and relaxed.

After an hour maybe of crying together, I said what I honestly felt “Rocking chair time, please…”

Bill answered immediately “Do you want clothes, bed-time clothes, or no clothes?”

I moved and looked into Bills eyes. “Just my Bill, please.” I think we both shivered, but I wasn’t worried. I needed Bill, and I needed close. I think he already knew. We obviously weren’t going to try to coerce the intense feelings we felt last night. But if, in the course of us celebrating our ocean-deep devotion together, something like that should happen, well, I knew my man would take care of that, he would take care of me… I relaxed, we walked into the bedroom and undressed together, and were quickly skin to skin, soul to soul in one of our favorite places. And with the rocker tipped so far back, it was like I was just curled up in my man’s amazing love. He hugged me tightly. Of course our bodies responded, just a little this time, but just maybe that was a small part… We both wept softly until very late. We didn’t have any big problems, er opportunities. And when we started falling asleep, Bill had us get our amazing bed-time clothes on, and we were both quickly asleep. I was on my side, and my man was curled up right behind me, pulling me close. I sighed a lot until sleep took over.

We didn’t take showers that night, but we also didn’t go out of our way to try and make things difficult. Still, my beloved man had already explained what our ‘plan b’ was, should that happen. There was nothing left for me to worry about, nothing at all. Well, working on waiting until some amazing day in the future, maybe that…

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1. Maude: Meanderings is copyright 2017 by Shysage.

 

 

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