My Bill and I, we so amazingly cherished each other the night after, really the morning after we invited Irene to stay at our house. Like I said, I think we both needed that. Maybe to laugh at us, the storm, the maelstrom quickly gathered…

We could not ignore the fact that Irene had the same problem I did; her head hurt monstrously unless she was around my man Bill. As far as that goes, I think it was only right that we offer her our guest room, so she could be near us (near Bill), so her head didn’t pound. We were just trying to help is all. And I don’t recall this, but Bill mentioned that her recollection of the past started at the same point as ours did. Well, I cautiously verified that, but still. And having Irene inside our home did curtail some of the freedoms we had come to deeply enjoy. Bill and I had enjoyed each other’s bodies on numerous occasions out on the swing on the front porch, and even out in the oat grass out back. Maybe this was a minor detail, but losing little things like that…

Irene looked painfully like me, maybe it was that. She was my height, had my exact build, I think is the word. Her face was just about the same as mine, blue eyes and all. Even her voice was the same. The only difference was that her hair was about the color of Bill’s, not my golden blond, which I know Bill treasures.

We had tried to help Irene, giving her stable surroundings at least, and some relief from her angry head, all that week. That thursday night, while I took my shower, when I finished and asked for my towel, I got no answer and no towel. I was honestly trying not to be suspicious. I stepped out, got my towel, dried off and dressed quickly, and quietly walked into the guest room. Bill was at the door, and immediately put his arm around me. But he was pleading with Irene to not leave. Bill was asking her to stay here with us. It was safe, we would take care of her, and keep bad men away… There were a bunch of good reasons for keeping Irene here. But I just could not figure out why Bill was fighting so hard for this. And my feminine intuition was drawing a blank. Well, Irene said she would stay a few more days, anyway. She said she felt she had to keep looking, although she admitted she wasn’t real sure what she was even looking for. Irene almost started crying, but choked those tears back. Well, she couldn’t have my Bill, I already need him so desperately. I just didn’t know.

Aside from not being able to enjoy the ‘s’-word on the porch swing, that evening went well. Not having access to the swing didn’t stop us, and Bill did not… He still knew, almost instinctively where each subtle button was that he could lovingly caress, or lick or… He set me on such fire inside. We both felt amazing. And we ended our evening in our rocking chair, reaching out for each other like we needed each other more than life itself. We did.

On a lark (I think), while we were in bed getting ready to go to sleep, I asked Bill about Irene again. “Why are we pushing her so hard to stay with us?” I asked this as calmly as I could, trying to conceal the irritation I felt. And I really wanted to ask Bill why he was pushing so hard..

I honestly think Bill felt all of this. He smiled, kissed me on the lips, then got up, turned on a light, then sat back in the rocking chair. Of course I was quickly in his lap. And, I won’t lie. Even though we had felt absolutely amazing just hours ago, Bill’s manliness… Well, my Bill was still my Bill, anyway, and that part of his body… But he quietly said this. “Maude, I know this is hard for you. Since Irene can only remember from the same point we do, I just can’t… We need to try to keep her here… Whatever happened to us, it may involve her too…”

This is basically what we had discussed a number of times. This was not new information, and maybe that… Maybe I was the one having problems. Maybe this suspicion… I should just put it away, and we would see what happened. I tried to do that, that night. I apologized to Bill for doubting him, he cried, and said that he simply could not ever live without me, and that Irene was not a temptation to him at all. We were soon back in bed, and fell asleep hugging.

The next morning, it was like everything was fine, except that Bill wanted to go ask Irene to come back to the Diner with us during the day. I suggested we let Irene make that decision; she knew the way to the Diner. I know Bill wanted to protest, inside I just knew that. But Bill said ok, and we walked to the Diner, and got to work. What troubled me was that this was troubling him. Why should he be so intent on keeping this other woman that looked almost like me around us? Irene did show up, and sat at a 2p table in the annex and just relaxed there. Bill did wander back there a few times, and I guess… My irritation was slowly growing. It was not like I found them in any even questionable… Bill was just caring. But that… I began to wonder about, what, that other shoe dropping…

At the end of the day, the three of us walked slowly home. Irene told us a little more about her days since she forgot everything, she said. Bill listened intently. He had his arm around me, and was certainly hugging me tightly, and he did kiss me a few times on the way home.

An hour later, Bill and I, we were in our room getting ready… Well, we were sitting in our rocking chair, naked. But my mind was a million miles away. I wanted some answers. Maybe I needed some answers. I didn’t want to lose my man over this. Helping others was good, but not at my expense. My man should know this. These words just spilled quickly out. “Bill, why are you pushing so hard for this, for Irene. I understand that she needs help, a lot of help, but I just do not understand your concern for her. I think I deserve to know what is going on.” I tried to sound calm, but I don’t think that worked very well.

Bill started crying. When he could, he said slowly “I… just can’t… tell… you…”

I gasped immediately; this is certainly not what I expected. Then I sighed. “Bill, I am your wife, your woman. Please… Beyond anyone else on this planet, I have a right to know. It hurts that there are secrets between us now…” I was crying by the time I was done saying that.

Bill hugged me tightly, well we both hugged each other tightly, crying together… That felt a lot better. But I think I needed… Well, I realized maybe I had just said enough. Maybe I should let my Bill take it from here. And of course, I started to dread that maybe I had actually done something wrong, that maybe I was being immature, and letting seeds of doubt grow… Bill had been so amazing to me, for me, up to this point. I rested my head on his, and kissed him. “Bill, I just don’t want to see this come between us.”

Bill stopped crying abruptly. “You are right…” he said quietly, then he sighed. “Maude, I think I need to show you something. Can we get up?” The way Bill asked that, well how he asked that, instantly put me at ease. He didn’t sound troubled or irritated at all. But of course, I had no idea what he wanted to show me… Still, I got up out of his lap. He asked with a grin that we put our bed-time clothes on since we were going out back. We did this, and I remembered lovingly when we used to put these on and take them off a lot. Well, again, I had absolutely no idea what the next 5 minutes even, would bring. I tried to remind myself to trust my Man… It was just hard for some reason…

Still, we had very little on, and we were heading out to our sea of grass in the back yard. What could go wrong? On the way out the back door, Bill turned the back lawn lights on; he actually left them on. Ok, wow! Whatever would happen, we could both see everything; it was that bright. Bill led me; we walked carefully down the stairs, and were soon tip-toeing through the grass; it was wet with dew. Maybe 100 feet out into that amazing sea of oats… Bill pulled me to a stop, and hugged me tightly. I felt his whole body, even his manliness, which responded immediately to our hug. I began to relax.

Then Bill said quietly “Please don’t ever leave me…”

I thought immediately “Like that would ever happen…” But then I began to wonder what deep dark confession would quickly come…

Bill pulled himself away briefly… In the blink of an eye, my Bill turned himself into a, well, a small horse, threw himself forward, jumped down, landing on his front horse feet… He was quickly standing on all four. And in the bright light… His body was about the same size as his man body, he was just… a… small horse… I was speechless, of course.

Bill walked slowly around me, as the horse he now was, then laid on his belly in the wet grass in front of me when he was done. I saw, I watched all of that. The eyes were Bill’s… The hair was Bill’s too; I knew all that immediately. His light tan horse body… well I didn’t know… Bill spoke once. It was Bills voice. “Maude, I love you so very much. I will never leave you… I absolutely can’t ever leave you…” Aside from the fact that my Bill was a small horse, and was talking… Then I remembered… a strange night just months ago now(1). Just like that night, I sat down next to Bill as the small horse he was, facing him, cross-legged in the cool, wet grass. I said what I also said that night, “people or small horse”, then I started to cry. Bill said the same thing, “people or small horse” too, then we were both crying. I really wanted to hug him again…

Surprising us both, Irene ran quickly out in an old bathrobe I guess she had found in the closet in the guestroom. She started talking even before she got to us. “Wow, my head hurts… I heard you guys talking and I hope I am not causing any prob–” Irene stopped the minute she saw the small horse next to me. She looked around briefly, then asked “Maude, where’s Bill?”

The small horse that was Bill said calmly but firmly “Irene, please back up maybe 10 feet, then just sit down. We need to talk to you soon.” Irene did exactly what she was told, and evidently found no words to say. I couldn’t blame her. A small horse had just talked to her.

Bill looked at me, and said what he said before. “Maude, I love you so very much. I will never leave you…” I knew it was Bill. I knew he meant that. I still wanted to hug him so bad…

Irene was amazed that the horse talked. “How did…” was all she could get out.

The small horse that was Bill sighed, then again said calmly “Irene, please wait, we hope to explain everything soon.”

I rubbed Bill’s horse side, just like I did that night. Wow, it even felt like Bill, I could tell. Clearly searching for words, Bill asked quietly “Maude, the night… you turned into… a small horse too(2)… What did you… did you do… anything to… cause that?”

All that growing suspicion… it evaporated instantly… That one question… This was surely Bill; he was trying to analyze… to understand, to figure something out… And… it was something about… me… I knew him well enough to quickly realize all this. I was the focus… his focus… I wanted to hug him even more… Still, I tried to think, to remember… “Oh, Bill, I don’t know… I woke up from a dream… It must have been something… something in the dream maybe… I just can’t remember…” I said this slowly, thinking slowly as I talked, really.

But, in my mind, I had seen enough to clear my Bill from any suspicion with Irene. Now, I really wanted… It was like my own thoughts, my own suspicion had created distance between us, and that distance hurt. I smiled, and rubbed Bill’s small horse side some more. “Bill, how does that feel” I asked calmly.

Bill’s answer suprised me, so much that it didn’t make any sense. He said quietly “Oh, Summer…” This made absolutely no sense to me… except… My waking up screaming from a horrible nightmare, on a completely different night(3): in that nightmare, the last thing I remember, the only thing I remembered were… those… exact… words… more importantly with that… exact… voice… It was Bill’s voice I heard in that nightmare, saying that exact thing… I burst into tears and fell on Bill, and tried to hug him as best as I could since he was still a small horse.

Irene got up to leave. “You are both very wierd.” She walked back towards the house. I guess I really couldn’t blame her. This was…

Bill, laying on his belly as a horse, just said quietly, pleaded really “Irene, please stay a while longer. We both really need you…”

Irene stopped right where she was, facing away from us, and sat down in the grass. “Well, hurry it up, I’m all wet.”

I was laying on Bill’s side, crying, and he was a small horse. I was a normal person. I still loved him, a lot… And, being next to him still felt amazing. As I cried softly, I slowly ran one of my fingers down one of his front legs, just like I did that other night(1). The minute I touched his hoof…

…I changed… I changed, into that white, small horse that I had seen in my dream that was not a dream(2). I was leaning on Bill as a small horse myself, and promptly slid off, but managed to land on my front legs, and was laying alongside Bill. Irene was right, this was very wierd. But, Bill… I…

I guess Irene had enough. “Come talk to me when you are both done being wierd” she said, sounding both confused and maybe a little irritated. She got up and walked quickly back into the house. Bill started crying when she walked away. It was Bill’s crying, I knew… Honestly, I didn’t know what… But Bill and I were small horses. That didn’t bother me. That didn’t bother me at all… I still loved my Bill.

Through his tears… “Wow, you are so beautiful…” Bill said softly. I knew he so deeply meant that… Something inside me just melted. I mean, I was just a small white horse; and for him to say that to me… And… his horse nose against my horse nose… Why did this feel so…

“Maude, can I rub your back for a little while? I think you will like it.” Bill asked this just like he did the last time he asked. Well, we were both people that other time, but it felt amazing. I had no reason to doubt…

I smiled, well as a small horse… “You are my man.” Just saying that sounded wierd on so many levels. And it was even wierder that my voice sounded just like my voice… And I noticed that my horse hair was the same golden blond… What…

Bill got up as a small horse, and I soon felt Bill’s hand on my back, so he must have been back to normal. He rubbed the palm of his hand along my horse back. With the exact same voice, he said quietly “How does this feel?”

I closed my eyes and said “Mmmmm” because that’s how it always felt, and this was no exception. I rolled over on my side and Bill kept rubbing my back for a while. Honestly, I didn’t want to move. But Bill was occasionally moving closer to a specific spot on my back. Every time he got close to that spot on my back, I said “Please, not there.” Well it was towards the front of my back, near my front legs, and I couldn’t even see it. I just didn’t want him touching me there. I had no clue why. It didn’t hurt, it certainly wasn’t exciting or anything like that. But he rubbed me there again. “Bill, please, not there…” I protested. A little while later, and he did it again, and further down towards my side. I was angry. “Stop that, Bill…” I had never, ever been angry at my Bill before. I honestly had no clue what was going on.

A few minutes later, Bill slowly, intentionally moved his hand far deeper, down into the area I had repeatedly told him not to touch. I was immediately outraged… I rolled quickly over, as the small white horse that I was, and yelled loudly “Bill, STOP THAT! With my hind legs, I kicked Bill hard, and he tumbled ten or so feet across the wet grass. I wasn’t done shouting. “I’M SHYSAGE’S M–”

I stopped myself right there… The words coming from my mouth… I could not… That was so… wrong… Shysage was my adopted twin sister’s husband’s name… He sounded like, looked every bit like my Bill’s twin brother, but… I certainly was not his… I was Bill’s, and nobody elses’… forever… I was instantly furious, with myself for even suggesting… Thinking jaggedly… “I… shouldn’t… No… Unless, maybe… Yes… NO!” I sighed, then burst into tears. “Yes…”

Something snapped inside me right then. Well, something exploded… Recollections exploded down over my soul, rapidly growing to a raging torrent… Well, I was laying on my back, and everything was up-side-down. I was still a… small, white horse… watching… my… Shysage… on his hands and knees, gasping for breath… And, in the very middle of that amazing song playing in the background… it changed too(4)…

For a few minutes I didn’t move. I couldn’t move, as floodgates of recollections reaching back over a decade began to open wide… I increasingly saw… This man… My Shysage… My amazing… Stallion… I was quickly crying uncontrollably…

Still a people, my Bill, my Shysage, he managed to crawl over to me, and he threw himself down next to me and hugged my neck tightly, well my horse neck. He was crying too. I only said it once… “My Shysage…” He realized I remembered… him… He burst into the most gut-wrenching tears and cried loudly. We both did… We cried together for at least an hour… And during that time, crying loudly next to my amazing Stallion once again, I slowly put some pieces together…

PonyRos had already shown a liking to robbing just some, maybe the most precious portions of memories(5)… And killing Chard-onix was no fluke, we watched him appear. Maybe Chard-onix was PonyRos’ way of testing me. Or maybe PonyRos was just infuriated that we so quickly killed Chard-onix before he could do any killing… Well, he almost killed Shysage(6)… And then the breakdown of some… most of our very precious friendships. This really did leave us so vulnerable… Well, PonyRos found us, by ourselves… And I remember PonyRos’ words(7)… PonyRos’ curse for us… Until Bill… Shysage came, I felt so absolutely abandoned… And I sensed the same thing in Bill, too, and we almost missed… But that abandonment was precisely PonyRos’ goal for us…

How in the world…

Just… true friend, I quickly realized…

Being so close again… I was also confident that Shysage had already worked all of this through. Crying together was all Shysage and I could do… I am sure we wanted to cry together for days… having back again what we had already come to so deeply treasure…

But we could not do that, not now…

As our past raged back inside… I realized…

This young woman Irene… She was Shysage and my daughter… And one of the reasons I couldn’t stop crying at this realization was because… Replaying the last week, I was just so… amazed and deeply humbled… Shysage had paid so steep a price, simply to keep Irene, our daughter, here with us… Because he knew that, if Irene left… if she leaves… We will certainly never ever see our precious daughter again… This horrible world eats up the people in it, there are just so many of them. And a young woman even… We would never have this chance, our daughter here, again… ever… And I wasn’t very helpful… Shysage had risked everything, even our relationship, just to try to protect our daughter… I could have cried for days over that…

But, apart from anything Shysage and I wanted to do, needed to do… we had to set all that aside… All that mattered now… We had to somehow rescue…

…our Ariel Dawn(8)…

————————-

[I hope the links all work; I apologize if not…]

  1. CSR Maude: Meanderings, Ch. 32, Bill’s Turn

https://wordpress.com/post/shysagecsr.wordpress.com/888

  1. CSR Maude: Beginnings, Ch. 18, Settling In, Again

https://wordpress.com/post/shysagecsr.wordpress.com/795

  1. CSR Maude: Meanderings, Ch. 31, Deepening Dependence

https://wordpress.com/post/shysagecsr.wordpress.com/885

  1. …The slow, understated elegance of ‘The Celestial Capital – Al’Taieu’* from the ‘Chains of Promethia’* expansion for Final Fantasy XI* (*c2014 by Square Enix).
  2. “Make Equestria(*) Forget”, Chapter 1 of Faded Memories, Volume 5 of the Chronicles of Summer Rain, posted on FIMFiction.net (*=c/tm Hasbro Inc.)

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/204833/1/the-chronicles-of-summer-rain-vol-5—-faded-memories/chapter-1-make-equestria-forget

  1. CSR Princess, Volume 14 of the Chronicles of Summer Rain, Chapter 22, Chard-onix

https://wordpress.com/post/shysagecsr.wordpress.com/430

Chapter 26, Absolute Evil

https://wordpress.com/post/shysagecsr.wordpress.com/507

  1. Chapter 18, Grim Prospects, Sweep of Time, Volume 12 of the Chronicles of Summer Rain, posted on FIMFiction.net

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/314766/18/the-chronicles-of-summer-rain-vol-12—-sweep-of-time/chapter-18-grim-prospects

  1. Ariel Dawn, the entire story is Volume 10 of the Chronicles of Summer Rain, posted on FIMFiction.net

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/267838/the-chronicles-of-summer-rain-vol-10—-ariel-dawn

  1. CSR Maude: Revelations is copyright 2017 by Shysage. And this entire story, “CSR Maude” is vol. 15 of the Chronicles of Summer Rain.

 

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