My Bill and I, we slept outside that night, and on our swing no less. So, yes, we did sleep on that thing Bill dragged out of the pump-house out back! Well, I slept well, and woke with the sun, and quickly realized… Well, I felt my Bill, his manliness, even though he was still asleep. I tried to lay still. He felt very nice. But I decided it would be interesting to see how today worked out. It was a sunday, so we didn’t need to get ready and go to the Diner. And I liked how my Bill’s manliness felt on my lady area; can I say that again? But our sunday tradition was usually just relaxing together on the swing without getting excited. Thinking that made me giggle. I was already… Well, my Bill felt nice! Bill was asleep until I giggled. When he woke up, I realized, he was very groggy. I don’t think he slept so well. I said softly, lovingly “Bill, part of you is wide awake.” Then I giggled again.
Bill hugged me tightly to him with both arms, then asked “Whole lotta’ woman, how does a shower sound?” well, that is what we did, first thing. Bill let the shower wake the rest of him up, then he made sure I was awake (on fire inside), then we both felt amazing. As my Bill dried me off afterwards, he asked me not to be angry if he fell asleep, well before bed time.
Me getting angry… at him… like that would ever happen! “Bill, if I ever, ever get angry at you, you get to…” Well, I stopped there because I couldn’t think of anything to say. I would already give Bill anything he wanted! Realizing that, then trying to not cry, I just said quietly “Oh. Bill, I love you so much… I will give you anything you want anyway… Just ask me…”
“I now, precious” Bill said lovingly, then kissed one of my breasts, which made me shiver pretty good. Bill smiled, and kissed the other one, then helped me up. “Sunday tradition will be in the rocking chair in our room, after I get some fans set up” Bill said quietly. That meant we… there would be no clothes in the way. That would not be an… opportunity because we had just cherished each other. That would be fine. Soon that is where we were. Bill tipped the rocking chair way back, and I nestled into his lap, his body, and we just reached for, into each other, hugged tightly, and cried softly.
After a while, Bill was gently running his fingers, his hand along my upper leg. That felt so amazing. Since we had just felt amazing, it wasn’t terribly exciting. It still felt amazing though. But after maybe half an hour doing this, Bill abruptly stopped, resting his hand right where it was. I was pretty sure he had fallen asleep. “Awww, Bill…” I said softly.
“What precious” he answered right away, clearly wide awake.
Bill must have been deep in thought, or something. So I just asked. “Bill, what…” I didn’t think I needed to explain any further than that. I smiled after asking that, and just waited.
Bill soon answered, calmly and quietly. “I was talking to our true friend in the sky.”
Well, I was drawing a blank on this, beyond remembering Bill’s explanation about being a true friend a few weeks ago now. But I think my Bill understood that. Well, that and I tipped my head up and looked at him, and tried to smile as lovingly as I could. Bill thought a minute, then tried to explain.
“Well, I might be wrong, but in my mind, the existance of this amazing gem that we call ‘true friendship’ presupposes a true friend outside all of this. I was talking to him.
“It has been my experience that, in order for just about anything to last, it needs to be anchored to something outside of this world. So, in order for ‘true friendship’ to last, I think it has to be anchored by my continued friendship with this true friend on the outside, who never changes with time. I think that may be one of the reasons I am still committed to true friendship, I don’t know…
“The day after you were abducted –” Bill got this far, stopped abruptly, and began to cry fiercely. I didn’t even know what that strange word meant, why Bill should…
But that… didn’t… matter… My amazing Bill was a true friend; his obstinate intention to put me and others around him first, that graced everything he did — for me, for our customers at the Diner… And, from what Bill had just explained, I absolutely did understand that Bill was reaching out to the true friend of all true friends, who himself existed outside our existance, and, in Bill’s mind, had some influence over what was going on around us… A true friend we could reach out to, cry out to, ask for help… I… almost yelled this… “Oh, my goodness… Bill, how do I get this true friend… I want him… I absolutely need him…” Then I started to cry…
While I slowly cried harder and harder, Bill worked at calming down so he could explain. The only reason I wasn’t crying buckets was because I wanted to hear every word Bill said… Bill wiped away tears, then hugged me tightly, and explained slowly…
“Well I think you need to understand ‘true friendship’ to begin with, but I think you already do.
“I think you need to talk to him and tell him that you need him as your true friend more than even life itself. But this is what true friends do anyway.
“And I think you also need to tell him that all of your life is his. Since he is the ‘True Friend’ of all true friends, this also is simply a result of what ‘true friendship’ really is. You are just telling him you want to be his true friend too.
“Then just talk to him as your ‘true friend’ whenever you can, want, or need. I talk to him alot, but maybe that’s because he’s the only true friend I had… …until you…”
Crying buckets myself, I slowly got this out… “True friend in the sky I absolutely need you… I absolutely want you… I freely give you everything as true friends do… I don’t want to lose true friendship, ever… Please help me…”
Bill was crying again too, but he finished simply with this “I have my Mare back now… Thank you for staying with me through… many excruciating years…” These words Bill said made no sense to me, but that didn’t… matter… either… I had found, connected with my Bill’s true friend in the sky… the reason why my amazing man would stay amazing, for, well forever… And I could now, too… We cried together for a long time, over 2 hours easily… Right in the middle of that, my Bill, crying himself, said “…I don’t know how I could ever love you more, but that…” Well, I felt the same way. My Bill and I, anchoring our love and devotion to something unchanging outside this cruel world… Like I said, we cried together for a while.
As we cried, it got warmer and warmer in our room, and we began to sweat. We both ignored it for a while. Our sweat made each other, well, slippery. I liked that. But when sweat was dripping off Bill’s nose, Bill asked me to get up, then he got up. He led us out the back door, to the steps down from the wood back porch. Bill sat down on the top step, and welcomed me into his lap. We were outside, but not in the sun, and the slow breeze, while warm, slowly dried us off, cooled us off a little. I think we were done crying, but maybe we felt even more tightly bound to each other. We hugged tightly. I kissed my Bill’s head often, and Bill kissed the closest breast. We stayed there for a while, too. In the middle of that, Bill said quietly “I think your journal will need to wait until later.” I didn’t mind. I wanted right next to my Bill, even more now.
We didn’t wait too much longer to work on my journal though. Bill asked me if I would mind working on something more recent, something that we didn’t need Ed’s dinosaur, that big, old and hot xt computer thing. I smiled, because I already had an idea for a new journal entry. I think Bill realized that! Bill asked me to get up, then he got up, and disappeared into the house. He came back out with a sheet from somewhere, some closet in the house. He laid it out flat over the wood on the back porch, and told me to get comfortable on it. I laid on my belly on that sheet, propping my head and upper body up on my arms for my man. He smiled when he came out, carrying that small, quiet computer. Bill sat next to me, put the computer down on the sheet, and turned it on. Bill explained that I would tell him what to say, and he would type it all in for me. Oh, and he said I could stay, laying like I was, for as long as I wanted. I love my man!
Well I was thinking how I wanted to even start this entry. And with that, I immediately burst into tears… And, once I calmed down enough to tell Bill what to write, to type, he was soon crying too. It was about the day Bill showed up at the Diner for his last meal before he drove out into the desert, intentionally ran out of gas, then found a rattlesnake to put him out of his misery. But instead, he made my head stop hurting, and we found each other. We both cried on and off, and helped with words and such as we put that amazing journal entry together. And my Bill would often stop typing, cry some, then explain what was going on in his mind at this or that point that day. Through his tears, he said it was like, after watching me so overworked, he just couldn’t take his eyes off me. And he almost got up a number of times and pleaded with me to let him help me. Well, all of that… We had to stop and hug and cry together after Bill admitted that, for some reason, he just couldn’t leave the Diner, leave me, that evening. We did manage to get that journal entry done, and even worked through it again. Then I sat in Bill’s lap on the top step of the back porch, and we cried together for a while, as my Bill hugged me tightly. I think, after working through that day, crying together was all we could do. And we watched the sunlight disappear as we sat there together.
“Maude, can we just sit together in our rocking chair for a while? I just… I think I am feeling clingy… I just want to hug you, to hold you… and never let you go…” Well, I knew Bill was trying to avoid crying as he said that. Of cource, that was exactly what we did. We still had no clothes on, and I realized we spent the whole day like that. Bill set the rocking chair up, then set two fans up next to two specific windows, and then we just rocked together, holding on for dear life, I think. I have mentioned a few times about our realization that we had come so close to missing all this. I think now, we just wanted to hold on tight… That is what we did. The last thing I remember was my Bill gently helping me into bed.
- Maude: Revelations is copyright 2017 by Shysage.