Bill called his white shorts boxers, the name on the label inside. And there is a flap in the front so men could use the restroom standing up with them on. That was one of the reasons I didn’t like cleaning the men’s room; that makes such a mess… Bill never does that. Well, he always cleans the bathrooms at the Diner for me now, anyway. But I did realize that Bill pays some attention to keep that flap closed around me, which was all the time he had them on!

After such a special evening last night… Well they all seemed increasingly special now as I said… We calmed down, and my man put me to sleep on his amazing hairy chest. He had one arm around me and hugged me close until he too fell asleep.

I woke up with a start an hour or two later, and his arm was still next to me, but on the bed. My Bill was sound asleep.

At first I was not sure why, what woke me up. I gasped quietly… A full moon low in the west, was spilling it’s amazing light into our bedroom, flooding our bed, my Bill, with its soft, faintly blue glow… It was pretty bright.

And somehow, my Bill’s manliness had worked its way out of that flap on the front of his boxers. It was all the way out, bathed in the moonlight beaming in our window. Oh, Bill’s body, that part especially, had become so amazing to me. But the soft light of the moon showed everything, every little detail. I was still laying on his chest, and my Bill’s… It was right in the middle of what I could see. I just gazed at my man, and this special part of his body, for minutes, easily. I couldn’t look away… Without thinking, I gently kissed my Bill’s chest, right where I lay. I love him so much… But I guess… he grew… I… Such beauty… I just watched in amazement… His manliness was soon… I had seen him excited before, but this was… Tears were slowly forming in my eyes and dropping off my face onto Bill’s hairy chest. I was just spell-bound, and I didn’t want to wake him. I just wept softly, and watched my Bill in amazement. He stayed like that. I guess I hoped I had given him a nice dream about me, I don’t know. After minutes… and I wrestled… I had to touch him… there… I did…

Bill’s arm behind me gently wrapped itself up around my back again, and he just gently stroked my back through my t-shirt. My Bill was awake. He also knew I was crying, and hugged me close briefly. Then he softly said this. “Maude, I love you so much… I won’t stop you, this is your body as far as I’m concerned. But I think we should wait until…” Bill didn’t finish. He didn’t need to.

I got up slowly and gently kissed that most amazing part of my man, just once. Then I climbed back up and put my head on my Bill’s shoulder, kissed his face once, then just cried.

Bill was concerned right away. “Oh, Maude, did I do something wrong? I didn’t say you had to…”

Still crying, I kissed his face again. “Oh, my precious Bill…” I got this out then kept crying, but I hoped he would realize from that, I was not upset at him. I think he did. He sighed, and just hugged me ever closer as I cried. And I think he put his manliness away too (I know that sounds harsh).

I tried to calm down, but failed. And I tried to explain… It was hard, and took a while, even though I didn’t say much…

“Oh, Bill, oh my amazing man…

“You just… just proved…

“That I am so… …important… to you…

“Even more… more important to you…

“…Than yourself…”

Then I gave up and just cried. We cried together for a while, then we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

And, again… My Bill was asleep, and he can’t control where the moon shines… Bill did not set this up to achieve his ends. And how he handled it proved the exact opposite. No, this was another amazing example of Bill putting me first… It just happened… I love my man so much… How in the world did I ever find… him

Yes, my Bill means the world to me, and he did that night, no less. And, if I, he and I just fell back asleep, then woke up in the morning to get ready for another amazing day together at the Diner… Laying calmly on his amazing chest, my special comfort place, I did fall asleep. But I woke up less than an hour later, I think. I know that it is hard for my man to sleep on his back. In his sleep, Bill had rolled over onto his side, towards me. My head was resting gently on the bed, still next to his chest as he sort of curled his body towards me. As quietly and as gently as I could, I rolled slowly over onto my side, facing away from him, then I ever so gently pushed as much of my body as I could up against his body. We were both laying on our sides facing the same way, our heads up on the same pillow. I moved myself; I wanted to be as close to my man as I could get, without waking him. Well, maybe I woke him briefly, I don’t know. He lifted his arm, his hand, planted his hand gently on my belly and pulled me closer. Then he was back asleep. “Wow, I could sleep forever next to my man like this…” I thought to myself, and fought back tears. Oh, this was so very comforting. I fell quickly asleep.

I woke up again an hour later. I felt… on fire… like when Bill had rubbed around on my chest the other day, only this was far more intense. Bill’s hand had moved as he slept… right over my lady area… I don’t ever remember feeling anything like this before… I couldn’t… I didn’t know what to do. I tried to gently roll over onto my back, just a little bit away from Bill, carefully. Bill’s hand, obviously limp because he was asleep, didn’t move much. Maybe this was even…

Laying there in my back, feeling such amazing fire inside, I dropped my elbows to my side, and folded my arms tightly to myself. “Bill, make it stop…” I started saying that. Quietly at first, but…

Bill woke with a start, clearly concerned, but he quickly saw what had happened. Oh, my precious man… He stretched his hand out flat, and gently patted that part of me, just twice. Then he slowly pulled his hand away. Well, he moved it high up on my belly, and just held it there, still out flat. And, as he did that, I am positive my Bill could feel what was going on inside me. He gently pulled my t-shirt up, and I moved my arms away so he could, then he just laid his head down in the center of my chest. Well, he gently kissed one of my pointed things, just once. I grabbed his head with both hands, and just held on tight. I worked on calming down. I was pretty sure that would take a while.

Laying there, on amazing fire inside, with my Bill so close… Bill said this, slowly, lovingly… “Maude, I think we should wait, but if you want… Maude, if you need me to, even if you really want me to… Just say the word, and I will give you everything, right here, right now…”

All, I could say at that point was “Oh, Bill…” For the next half an hour maybe, we didn’t move. I couldn’t, and my Bill didn’t want… I really felt his devotion to me right then. Tears fell from his eyes, down onto my chest, although he wasn’t crying out loud. Bill’s tears… Over that half hour I slowly calmed down. The fire died away, I was holding onto my man for dear life, and I could so clearly feel his deep love for me…

And, I don’t know how he knew, but Bill got up, held out his hand… I would follow him anywhere anyway, but he led me to our rocking chair. We still had our bed-time clothes on, but that just didn’t matter. Bill sat in our chair, put his feet up on the bed and tipped the chair way back, and I climbed into his embrace, and just cried. I didn’t cry because I wanted… I cried because I just could not fathom how my Bill could take such amazing care of me. Tonight, Bill would have… And I knew that some day, soon I hoped, Bill would be able to re-kindle that same fire, and we could revel in it. But right now, maybe the second time in a single night, Bill had so clearly shown me that I was the center of his universe, I was the most important thing in the universe to him.

I remembered what Bill had said to the cook the day I first came to the Diner with Bill in tow, the day after Bill had rescued me from that salesmoron… Hands covered with soap bubbles, he said this. “I will do everything in my power, do anything I can, to help her, protect her, to care for her, regardless how much it costs me…”

Bill was living that out. Bill was keeping his words that he said so early in our time together. I so clearly knew that Bill would do anything for me…

And, with disgust I realized that, if Bill… wasn’t… that vile salesmoron would probably have thrown me onto the floor in my own house, brutally took what he wanted, then drove away sipping his coffee… What was happening in this world…

I brushed that nightmare away, quickly. Bill WAS… Bill WAS there, right behind me… Bill so lovingly scooped me up and put me back together in the blink of an eye, as he ran that vile monster off…

I just sighed. I was curled up on Bill’s lap now, held in his loving embrace… Laying there crying on top of this one in a million man (Delores said so), his growing devotion to me swirled around in my head for a while as my tears flowed down my cheek onto his neck. He was hugging me tightly and crying with me… So many big things, little things… Something changed inside me. Right here, right now, with this man, my Bill… I relaxed. I was simply overwhelmed as I realized… I would never have to fight for myself, ever again. With Bill around, he would take care of me, he would do anything in his power… for me… for what was best for me… Maybe I really had been in survival mode for as long as I could remember, which wasn’t very long, and I had no clue why. But laying there early that morning, resting on this most amazing man, his skin up against a bunch of my skin… MY amazing Bill… something inside me just let go. I just relaxed. I felt I could relax, around… Bill… I was no longer… alone… And I doubted that I would ever feel that way (alone) again, not if Bill had any say in the matter. How in the world had I ever found this man…

My crying slowed, then stopped. With my free hand, I gently pulled Bill’s chin up and looked in his amazing blue eyes, and he lovingly returned my gaze. “Bill, I’m never leaving you…” I said. We kissed briefly. It was quiet as we looked deep into each other’s eyes.

Then Bill asked quietly “Maude, can we take all our clothes off?” I don’t know how… That simple change was probably the only thing that could have made this point in time, and everything happening in my heart and soul right now, any more moving. There was not excitment in this at all. Well, both our bodies responded, of course, but… I just wanted to be as close to this man as I could, and, knowing that he felt the same way about me, just amplified…

With no clothing at all in the way, I curled up on my man’s body, into as small as a ball as I could, with my head on his chest, just below his head. He kissed my head often. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as possible… I just rested there… in Bill’s love, in his devotion… And even after the time came and we were able to satisfy each other’s bodies with the amazingness we could give, I was sure that my Bill and I, we would be able to keep coming back here… that my amazing man would bring me back here to this place of such supreme rest… Bill’s manliness went back to sleep, and my fires did too. But I absolutely did not want to move away from this spot, from so closely… Tears fell from Bill’s eyes into my hair. Tears fell from my eyes onto Bill’s chest. We were so bonded… We were one… Our mutual love and devotion… in the midst of the forsaken, hot desert spreading out for miles all around us…

“Maude, I will never leave you, either…”

I breathed haltingly. “I know, Bill…”

We weren’t crying any more, but I guess the woman in me realized right away that my Bill… What he was about to say… With no fanfare or arrogance, my man slowly and calmly said this.

“Maude, I… Especially tonight, well last night, I think we were both given a tiny glimpse of the amazing way we can someday help each other feel. I think… I am pretty sure that, from now on… As much as I can, I want to try and put your pleasure first, well, ahead of mine. I want you allow me to take care of you to begin with, then after that… Your body is so amazing, so I don’t think…”

I started weeping softly. My man had just clearly stated what his actions during those two ‘tiny glimpses’ had shown me. Like I said, I just wept softly. This man… My Bill… Such a treasure… We wept together for another half hour more, then calmed down together.

I moved my head up and to the side so it was next to Bill’s head, then I gave him a kiss. “The sun will be up soon” I said quietly.

“Another day with the most amazing woman in the universe” Bill said quietly and we kissed again.

“Should we try and get some sleep?” I asked.

“What do you want, precious?” I really enjoyed Bill calling me that. I knew he really felt that way.

I didn’t need to think. “Bill chest time?”

Bill answered honestly, and I wanted to hug him… “In a little while maybe?”

I moved so my neck was straight, and Bill adjusted his arms, and hugged me close as I lay on my side on his… everything… We kissed a few times, but that… we decided to wait on that. I just lay there with my face up against his, and we both just revelled… and sighed…

Maybe half an hour later, we got up, and took turns getting our bed-time clothes back on (so we could watch each other). I was pretty sure that, after we were married, bed-time clothes would probably end up in a drawer. I giggled. Then I explained that to Bill, and he pulled me up against his whole body in a tight hug. He sighed. “The closer to you, the better…” I felt the same way.

I curled up next to my man, in bed, with my head on his chest. We slept for a while, until the sunlight in the room woke us up. We kissed some as we tried to wake up, then we both got up. I was moving slow, just to see. Bill was standing next to our rocking chair. What an amazing way to start our day… Clothes off, skin to skin, we just enjoyed such closeness… Another half hour, then we got up and watched each other get dressed for another day at the Diner. Such simple pleasures… I love my man…

We were ready to leave for the Diner early, and Bill asked what I had hoped. We picked up both flashlights, and Bill locked the door, then we had some swing time. Bill sat upright, nearest to the house, and I lay on my back with my head in his lap. Bill played with my beautiful blond hair while I just stared into his eyes. Bill took care of the swinging. I realized I could easily do that all day too. And aside from my first impression of this swing as it fell out of the pump-house, maybe sleeping on this swing with Bill might just work. I smiled.

But we were soon walking slowly, together, hugging, making our way to the Diner. I felt so relaxed, so at peace. What had happened in my heart and soul, what this man had brought about in my very being last night, well, it was all very real. I sighed a lot while we walked, and we said little.

The cook was already inside, the kitchen door propped open. As we rounded the corner to the front of the Diner, we found Delores and three other of the local ladies standing together, just talking. They turned immediately and greeted us as we walked up. I actually hugged Delores, so I hugged the rest too. These ladies are probably the ones Edna had asked to watch over me. After I had hugged the other ladies, Delores took both my hands in hers. She looked at me well more than briefly. “Maude, you… Something has happened Maude, you just…” then she brought her head closer, and said quietly “Did you both do the ‘s’ word?” Well everyone else could hear what she asked. The other ladies didn’t really know what to do. Bill moved, stood behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Oh, no Delores, Bill and I are waiting on that, or trying to anyway…”

Delores gasped quietly.

And my voice trailed away as my amazing man gently kissed my neck from behind, twice.

Then, I continued.

“No, I… A few amazing things happened last night that, well, showed me that… This man… I won’t ever have to fight to get him to take care of me, not just for the ‘s’ word, but for… anything. My amazing man so clearly puts me first, in everything. I realized that, for the first time since I can remember, I can simply relax, and just rest in Bill’s amazing care, his love and devotion.”

I paused briefly, sighed audibly, then I quietly added this. “I am Bill’s woman, now.”

Well, I wanted to cry when I said that, but I didn’t. Bill kissed my neck again. And it was his amazing care that, well I didn’t really need to cry anymore. I am sure I would…

But Delores did cry. Bill let me go, and Delores and I hugged for a minute maybe. Then she took my hands in her’s again, and said while sniffling “Oh Maude… I so wish Edna could be here to see you and your Bill… She would be so glad. She loved you like a daughter… I think she knew her time was coming, and she told us a lot that you were such a blessing to her in her old age…”

Delores couldn’t go on, but she tried to calm down as we hugged. Two more cars pulled into the parking lot, and that was our go signal, and we all headed into the Diner.

Knowing that Bill was doing the fighting for me, taking care of everything he possibly could to make my life a little easier, well that brought me such a serene peace, an amazing tranquility. I felt different, and that day at the Diner proved it. That amazing tune in the background seemed to fit all this perfectly(2)… Through the course of that day, my Bill found even more time to hug, to kiss me. I treasured it all.


1. Maude: Meanderings is copyright 2017 by Shysage.

2. “Angelic” from the “Exodus” CD copyright by Andy Hunter. Please purchase this tune, and play it in the background as you read.




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